Who isn’t ready for better relationships?
I think we can all agree that friendships are essential to our personal growth, but sometimes, we hold onto some trash bags much longer than we should. Just like any other relationship, friendships require effort, reciprocity, and alignment.
So, what happens when a friendship is no longer serving you? How do you know when it’s time to move on?
This is something I’ve had to face firsthand. I’m diving into the real conversation about when to let go of long-standing friendships and how to make space for more meaningful connections in your life.
The Weight of History: Why We Hold On
Often, the hardest part about ending a friendship is the history. Maybe you grew up together, shared milestones, or supported each other through difficult times. But just because someone has been in your life for a long time doesn’t mean they are meant to stay forever.
I experienced this when I let go of a 25-year friendship. It felt like we had been through everything together. From high school to college, and even moving to different states. But as time went on, I noticed a pattern: I was always showing up, but she wasn’t. I rarely asked for much, but when I did, she wasn’t there for me.
Does this sound familiar?
Let me just say this – if a friendship feels one-sided, it’s time to reassess its value in your life.
Signs It Might Be Time to Let Go
Not every friendship is meant to last forever. Here are some key signs that indicate a friendship might be draining rather than fulfilling:
- Lack of reciprocity – Are you always the one making an effort? Do they show up for you in the same way you show up for them?
- Emotional exhaustion – Do you feel drained rather than uplifted after interactions?
- Inconsistent support – Do they expect you to be there for them but rarely return the favor?
- Lack of personal growth – Are you evolving, while they remain stagnant? Are they holding you back rather than pushing you forward?
- Red flags in behavior – Do they dismiss your feelings, ignore your needs, or leave you hanging in social situations?
Friendships should feel balanced and fulfilling, not one-sided and exhausting.
How to Assess Your Friendships
One of the most eye-opening exercises I did was the McGill Friendship Assessment, which was recommended to me in therapy. It helped me take an honest look at my friendships and determine whether they were worth the effort. I encourage you to do the same!
Here’s how:
- Write down your closest friendships and evaluate them based on reciprocity, emotional support, personal growth, and consistency.
- Ask yourself honest questions:
- Does this person bring value to my life?
- Do I feel seen, heard, and respected in this friendship?
- Am I holding onto this friendship out of nostalgia rather than true connection?
- Decide whether to communicate or let go – If you feel the friendship can be repaired, have an open conversation. If not, it may be time to walk away.
Making Space for New, Fulfilling Friendships
Once I let go of that friendship, something incredible happened. I opened myself up to new, deeper connections. Friends who genuinely cared and reciprocated my energy and people who could match my level of commitment began showing up in my life.
The universe won’t give you what you need until you make space for it. If you’re holding onto friendships that no longer align with you, you may be blocking the opportunity to meet people who genuinely support and uplift you.
Your Challenge
I encourage you to take a step back and evaluate the relationships in your life. Ask yourself:
- Who is helping you evolve vs. who is keeping you stagnant?
- Are you holding onto a friendship simply because of history?
- Do you feel fulfilled in your friendships, or do you feel drained?
Take the McGill Friendship Assessment and be honest about what you need in a friendship. It might be time to let go, and that’s okay. When you make space, you allow better relationships to enter your life.
Let’s build friendships that help us grow, evolve, and thrive.
Are you ready to step into relationships that truly serve you? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to subscribe for more personal growth insights!
Listen to the full episode on The Real Connect Podcast, where I speak on this exact topic here.
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