Tamika Carlton

All right, y’all. If you’ve been tuning into The Real Connect Podcast, you already know I love having much needed conversations about relationships and friendships. In a recent episode, we did something a bit different. Instead of having a standard conversation, we pulled out the flags. Red and green flags.

We didn’t hold back. Joined by the husband and friend Vincent, we tackled some of the most relatable relationship and friendship scenarios. Before I dive in, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Am I ignoring a red flag because I don’t want to face it?
  • Am I recognizing the green flags and appreciating them enough?
  • Where do I draw the line with family, friends, and my partner?

How we think and handle the above questions says everything about the relationships we build and keep. Let’s go, friends!

1. Going Through Your Partner’s Phone

Now, this one had the room divided. Have you ever gone through your partner’s phone? Be honest. We’ve all seen those memes about Inspector Gadget vibes, but the real question is, how much privacy is too much privacy?

2. Ghosting a Draining Friend

Now, this one hit home. We’ve all had that one friend. The one who always has drama, the one who only calls when they need something, the one who drains your energy instead of adding to it.

At the end of the day, I’m not a fan of ghosting. But some situations? Some betrayals, boundary-pushing, or toxic people can earn peeps a hard block and a silent exit.

3. Cutting Off Family

Whew. This one got deep real quick. The idea of cutting off family feels different from letting go of a friend, but let’s be honest, some family members are only family by blood, not by bond.

We talked about the guilt that comes with distancing yourself from family, but you can love people from afar at the end of the day. Your peace comes first, always.

4. Not Posting Your Relationship on Social Media

Now, this one had layers. In today’s world, if you don’t post your partner, some people automatically assume you’re hiding something. But is that really fair?

For me, it’s about intention. Suppose you’re not posting because you’re just private, cool. But if you’re hiding them because you’re juggling multiple people on your roster and not being honest about it, it’s a major red flag.

5. Making a Big Career Change Without Telling Your Partner

This was one of those immediate red flags for all of us. Quitting your job, switching careers, or taking a financial risk without a conversation with your partner? That’s a no.

Your career affects your household, your future, and your partner’s life. Big moves deserve big conversations. Period.

6. Frequent Communication in Friendships

This one will remind you about how different friendships function. Some of us need daily check-ins, while others can go months without talking and pick up like nothing ever happened.

For me? Quality over quantity. I don’t need daily check-ins, but consistency, trust, and effort when it counts.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, the real lesson is that knowing your boundaries, values, and self-worth keeps your connections real and fulfilling, whether they’re romantic relationships, friendships, or family dynamics.

So, what about you? What’s a red flag or green flag that stands out the most to you? Drop it in the comments. I’d love to hear your take!

If you want to stay connected, don’t forget to:

Follow me on Instagram: instagram.com/tamika_carltonjbp
Join The Connect newsletter, where we keep it real on all things relationships, growth, and success: www.tamikacarlton.com/newsletter

Until next time, friend, keep those flags handy, trust your gut, and protect your peace!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *